so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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