that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
