so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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