I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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