Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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