she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
