i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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