you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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