these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
