They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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