My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
