My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
