she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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