His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize