i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
