it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize