Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
