Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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