super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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