I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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