we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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