I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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