it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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