Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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