So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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