Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
