i just sent this text using only my big toe
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
