My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
