hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
