i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
