this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
