Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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