At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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