Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
