If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I need moral support for this bender
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
