Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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