evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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