i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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