thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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