youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
