Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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