TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I party with great urgency now.
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