so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
