you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize