THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
