Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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