I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
