those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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