Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
