She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
