So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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