Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
