Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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