wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
