A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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