Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
