You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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